Dealing with the Worst
by Major144
Summary: Deadpool and Bob must kill the ten lamest villains in Marvel history to save the the universe from becoming dull and bland
1. Chapter 1 Epic Quest

Dealing with the Worst  
Chapter 1 Epic Quest  
By: Major144

Disclaimer I do not own Deadpool or Marvel Comics. This is just a story for fun.

In an a dirty apartment room in New York Deadpool and Bob were seating on a couch eating chimichangas and playing the Deadpool video game from High Moon Studios on a Playstation 3.

"Man Mr. Wilson I still can't believe you kidnapped some employes from High Moon Studios and forced them to make a video game starring you." Said Bob with admiration.

"I know I'm freaking awesome! Just goes to show you Bob my boy you can get anything done in this world with hard work and by threatening people with weapons grade explosives. Now watch me pone these Sinister clones!" Said Deadpool.

Suddenly the room started violently shaking.

"What's going on?!" Shouted a panicked Bob.

"Probably the fat couple upstairs making out again!" Said Deadpool as he grabbed a broom and started banging on the celling with it. "Hey you stupid hippos stop with the mad love your going split New York apart if you keep this up!" Complained Deadpool.

The shaking continued more violently!

"Oh man it's the end of the world!" Shouted Bob.

Inside Deadpool's head the two of the voices in his head were arguing about what was causing the shaking. There names were Wade and Wilson.

Wade was the crazier of the two, while Wilson was the more logical of the two.

"I bet it's a giant fifty foot women with giant tits!" Said Wade excitedly.

"Don't get you hopes up. It's probably the plot of this story fixing to come smashing in or teleport into the living room." Said Wilson.

The room continued to shake. Bob continued screaming. Deadpool stood up annoyed and started shouting at the sky.

"Come on mister Fan fiction writer we get that your trying to build up suspense! Just move on to the story!" He shouted.

"Who are you talking to?" Shouted Bob over the shaking.

"The writer of this story!" Replied Deadpool as he turned back to yelling at the sky. "Move along with the story man! Get with the typing on your keyboard, iPad or whatever your using!" Shouted Deadpool.

In another reality a young man sat at a Barnes & Nobles looking at the words on his iPad screen.

"That's weird I just typed that, but I really don't remember typing it. Oh well. Alright Deadpool here comes the plot." Said the man as he continued typing.

Back in the Marvel Universe the shaking stopped.

"Glad that's over." Said Bob.

Suddenly there was a huge flash of light in the living room! Bob screamed and dived behind the couch. Deadpool staggered back blinded by the light. He quickly pulled out one of his katanas and a machine gun ready for battle.

"Greetings Deadpool!" Said a deep voice.

"Het Watcher." Said Deadpool as he lowered his weapons.

In front of him was a bald man that stood about eight feet tall. He wore a white toga with gold trimming, a blue cape, and white boots. He had on a blue sash with a little cartoon head of Deadpool on it. The sash read "I Deadpool the MULTIVERSE". On his right hand there was a foam finger with a Deadpool symbol and #1. On his giant head there was a hat with a Deadpool symbol on it.

"Deadpool I've have come to tell you an urgent matter that concerns the universe!" Said the Watcher. There was a loud rumble from his stomach. "But first may I use your bathroom?" He asked.

"Um sure. It's down the hall and to the right." Said Deadpool pointing down the hall.

"Thank you." Said The Watcher as he walked down the hall.

Bob poked his head out from behind the couch.

"Who the hell was that?" He asked.

"That was the Watcher. His a huge fanboy of mine. He usually tells me something important and then I go on a freaking awesome adventure to save the universe or something." Explained Deadpool.

"Cool." Said Bob.

There was a loud flushing sound and the Watcher came back into the living room.

"Curse you Galactic Burger and your burgers!" Muttered The Watcher.

"Um your were fixing to tell me something important." Said Deadpool.

"Oh right." Said the Watcher as he put on a serious face. "Deadpool a mysterious evil force has recruited ten of the worst villains in Marvel history and is-" Began the Watcher

"Wait are we talking about villains that are so evil that they will destroy and enslave everyone in the universe or are we talking about villains so terrible lame that their very existence threatens the popularity of the Marvel universe?" Asked Deadpool.

"The second one." Said The Watcher.

"Ok." Said Deadpool.

"As I was saying a mysterious evil force has recruited ten of the worst villains in Marvel history and is using them to drain the popularity out of all the Marvel Universe by making these villains appear more in the comics and trying to make them seem relevant and important. If this continues the Marvel Universe will become bad and bland." Explained The Watcher.

"Shish that's bad. That'll make my life boring if the rest of the universe turns bland! Wait if the universe turns bland I'll have to get a real job that doesn't involve killing people! My chimichangas will be tasteless!" Shouted Deadpool in dismay.

"So exactly what are you guys talking about? What are Marvel Comics?" Asked Bob completely confused.

"Let me explain something to you Bobo my boy. Our entire universe is a comic written and drawn by people in a whole different universe. To them were fiction. We're the entertainment of the reading world!" Said Deadpool proudly.

"Um ok." Said Bob still looking utterly confused.

"So whose these lame-o villains that need killing, cause theirs a ton of them." Said Deadpool.

The Watcher raised his hand and laptop computer appeared displaying a YouTube video from labeled Top Ten Worst Marvel Villains.

Deadpool grabbed some pen and paper and started writing the villains names down. He looked at the list

10. The Boomerang

9. The Human Top AKA Whirlwind

8. Scarecrow

7. Stilt Man

6. Hate-Monger

5. Masked Matador

4. Egghead

3. Leap-Frog

2. The Slug

1. Asbestos Lady

"Alright got our targets. Lets go kick some lame-o ass!" Declared Deadpool.

"Good luck Deadpool may the popularity and awesomeness be with you." Said The Watcher as he vanished in a flash of light.

"Come on Bob were going on an EPIC ADVENTURE to kill!" Shouted Deadpool.

"Coming Mr. Wilson." Said Bob.

The two of them ran out of the apartment to go on their killing crusade.

To be continued


	2. Chapter 2 Boomerang

Dealing with the Worst  
Chapter 2 Boomerang  
By: Major144

Disclaimer I do not own Deadpool or Marvel Comics. This is just a story for fun.

Deadpool and Bob raced to a nearby garage.

"What are we doing here Mr. Wilson?" Asked Bob.

"Bob if were going on a killing crusade were going need wheels. I don't care how lame our targets are were going to kill them in style!" Declared Deadpool as he opened the garage.

Inside was a bright red sports car with two black slits over the front lights.

"She is one badass machine of awesomeness!" Said Wilson.

"Oh man. I going to love putting a key into that!" Said Wade.

Deadpool hopped into the drivers seat.

"Come on Bob." Called Deadpool.

Bob hopped into the passenger seat.

"Man this so exciting!" Exclaimed Bob as the car took off.

The drove for a few minutes. Bob looked at the list of targets.

"So how we going to do this?" He asked.

"We'll it's a top ten list. Will start from number ten and work our way down. Who's are first lame-o who needs killing?" Said Deadpool.

"Lets see our first target is called Boomerang." Said Bob as he looked at the list.

"Type his name into the computer over there." Said Deadpool as he pointed at a touchscreen computer in the dash.

Bob looked at it and saw a SHIELD logo on it.

"Where did you get this?" He asked.

"Oh SHIELD gave to me. You know killed some guys prevent the world from going into chaos the usually super assassin thing." Said Deadpool.

"You mean we stole it from a shield hovercraft." Said Wilson.

"That guy was practically begging us to steal it!" Said Wade.

Bob typed in Boomerang into the computer. A picture of a man in purple and blue spandex appeared with boomerangs on his head and body. Deadpool looked at the photo.

"Dam! If I had a costume like that I would kill myself! His practically asking to be put out of his misery. " Said Wade

"I must agree that costume is atrocities." Said Wilson.

The file gave information about Boomerang.

Real Name: Fred Myers

Occupation: Professional criminal, assassin; former trail guide, baseball pitcher

Equipment: Light body armor and jet boots

Weapons: specialized boomerangs

Shatterangs - Release explosive force equivalent to twenty hand grenades.

Gasarangs - Release tear gas

Razorangs - Razor-edged boomerangs capable of slicing through steel.

Screamerangs - These generate high-intensity sonic waves.

Bladarangs - Boomerangs cut like buzz-saw blades.

Gravityrangs - Create a local gravity field around their target.

Reflexerangs - Solid-weighted boomerangs.

"Shish talk about a bunch of dorky boomerangs!" Said Deadpool as he read the list.

"So how do we find him?" Asked Bob.

Deadpool thought for a few seconds. Then he typed local criminal jobs. A list of jobs popped up. The first was for guarding a shipment of weapons at a warehouse by the pier. He pressed on it and it showed who was hired. Deadpool saw Boomerang on the list.

"Bingo!" He shouted.

"That was illogical." Said Wilson.

"Who cares it's a plot convenience! Lets find this Boomerang bozo and kill him!" Said Wade.

Deadpool got the location of the warehouse and let a course for it. Thirty minutes latter they parked their car out of the warehouse. Deadpool and Bob stepped out and approached the house carefully.

"Why are we sneaking?" Asked Wade.

"So we can take our enemy by surprise." Said Wilison.

"Oh come on! Lets go in there like a badass and waste this guy!" Said Wade.

Deadpool decided to go with Wade's idea. He kicked the warehouse door opened and came in welding his katanas and Bob following him from behind. Inside they saw Boomerangs standing with two thugs in front of a crate. The trio of criminals starred at the duo in confusion.

"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Boomerang.

"I'm the amazing Deadpool! The Merc with the mouth! In the name of chimichangas and awesomeness I have come to kill you to prevent you from turning the universe bland!" Shouted Deadpool.

"Did he just still Spider-Man's catchphrase?" Asked Wilson.

"He sure did! The web head can suck it!" Shouted Wade.

Boomerangs eyes slightly widen at the mention of Deadpool mentioning the plan.

"How do you know about operation Bland?" He asked.

"Oh a godlike fanboy of mine told me." Replied Deadpool.

Bob then decided to introduce himself.

"I am Bob former agent of HYDRA!" He shouted.

The criminals just gave Bob a brief glance. Then they turned back to Deadpool.

"It doesn't matter if you know about the plan your to late! My fellow villains and I will make the Marvel Universe Bland! I will kill you here and make myself relevant in the comics!" Declared Boomerang as he activated his jet boots and took to the air.

He grabbed a couple of his shatterangs and started hurling them at Deadpool and Bob! They just barely avoided the exploding boomerangs. The two thugs went after Bob, while Deadpool dodged more of Boomerang's shatterangs. Deadpool pulled out an Uzi machine gun and fired at Boomerang, who quickly flew out of the way.

"Dam he quick!" Complained Wade.

"Just because his one of the worst villains in Marvel History doesn't mean he isn't a threat. He can fight back." Pointed out Wilson.

"Oh ship up smart ass!" Shouted Wade.

Boomerang threw some bladerangs at Deadpool, who deflected a couple with his sword, but one hit and sunk into his shoulder!

"Ow! Man those things are sarp!" Winched Deadpool.

"Try this on for size!" Shouted Boomerang as he threw a gravityrang at Deadpool's feet.

Almost immediately boxes started lifting in the air and flying towards Deadpool. He sliced one in half, but another plowed into his side and sent him crashing into a stack of crates.

"Talk about disgruntle packages." Said Deadpool as he staggered to his feet.

Boomerang threw a shatterang at Deadpool! The explosion smashed him into a stack of crates that immediately fell on top of him.

"Ha! That was easy! Time for me to collect a little trophy." Said Boomerang as he landed on the ground and walked towards the rubble.

Elsewhere Bob was running from the two thugs. He jumped onto some crates and began climbing. The two thugs began climbing after him. Bob reached the top of the create and leaned against a nearby crate sitting at the edge rest. His weight on the crate caused it to shift and fall off taking out the two thugs. Bob looked down at the at the down thugs.

"I meant to do that!" He shouted randomly to no one.

He went looking for Deadpool.

Meanwhile Boomerang walked up to the pile of destroyed crates looking for Deadpool.  
Suddenly Deadpool came leaping out of the rumple welding the bladerang that had been in his shoulder!

"Surprise! Hope you don't mind if I regift this!" Shouted Deadpool as he threw the bladerang at Boomerang! The villain dodged to the right, the bladerang sliced off his left arm at the wrist!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaa! You son of a bitch!" Screamed Boomerang as he clutched his stumb as it squirted blood!

"You know boomerangs are like fangirls they always come back." Said Deadpool.

It took Boomerang a second to register what Deadpool said and what he meant. He turned his head around just in time to see the bladerang come flying towards his neck! He only had time to look horrified as the blade sliced through his neck and decapitated him!  
Deadpool caught the bladerang as Boomerang's headless body hit the floor.

"Decapitation!" Cheered Wade.

"And with his own weapon nicely done." Said Wilson.

Bob came running up to Deadpool. He looked at the dead super villain lying on the ground.

"You killed him!" Cheered Bob.

"Yeah I did." Said Deadpool as he handed Bob his cellphone. He went over and picked up Boomerang's decapitated head and posed with it. "Take a picture." He said to Bob.

Bob took a picture. Deadpool threw the head away, grabbed the phone, and picture and posted it on Twert. Immediately he got a like from The Watcher.

"Alright lets saddle up Bob we have more people to kill." Said Deadpool.

The two of them left the warehouse to continue their quest.

To be continued.


	3. Chapter 3 Whirlwind

Dealing with the Worst  
Chapter 3 Whirlwind  
By: Major144

Disclaimer I do not own Deadpool or Marvel Comics. This is just a story for fun.

Deadpool and Bob hopped into their car and drove off.

"Whose our next lame-o target?" Asked Deadpool.

"Whirlwind." Said Bob as he typed the name into the computer.

An image of a man wearing green armor and wearing a bullet shaped helmet with little square horns. Underneath the picture was info on Whirlwind.

Real Name: David Cannon

Powers: When Cannon found out he was immune to dizziness, he soon found out he could twirl his body at fantastic speeds. He has since used this power for various effects, such as spinning so fast to avoid grappling attacks, spinning air currents to provide him with a type of body armor, gaining flight for short periods, focusing air into a blast attack, and generating a tornado in his area. He can spin fast enough to outrun normal humans, and with sufficient momentum, can even spin up vertical surfaces

Weapons: Whirlwind employs saw blades on his wrists for hand-to-hand and shuriken-like ranged attacks.

"On no his immune to dizziness! How ever can we beat this guy?! Oh come on that's got to be one of the lamest powers ever!" Said Wade.

"I have to agree with you on that." Said Wilson.

"So are next target is a gun whose power is spinning. Man talk about lame! These guys are just going to get lamer as we go through them." Said Deadpool.

"Yep." Said Bob.

"Ok turn on the police scanner. I'm betting this guy is robbing a bank somewhere." Said Deadpool.

Bob flipped on the police scanner. He then decided to see what was in the cars glove compartment. He found a piece of insurance information addressed to a man named Philip Coulson.

"Hey Mr. Wilson why is there insurance information addressed to some guy named Philip Coulson for this car?" Asked Bob.

"Oh...um his just a good friend...who owned this car before...he gave it to me. We...still working over signing the car over to me." Said Deadpool.

"Ok." Said Bob as he went back to watching the police scanner.

"Don't you mean the guy we stole the car from." Said Wilson.

"Oh come on! Look at this ride it was totally worth stealing! Besides his a SHILED agent I'm sure he has plenty of cool cars like this." Said Wade.

"I have a feeling this is going to come back to bite us in the end." Said Wilson.

Miles away at a SHILED base. Agent Coulson had gathered a team of agents to address an important matter.

"Gentlemen we have a situation last week my vehicle Lola was stolen. I found this where the car was parked." Said Coulson as he pulled out a piece of paper with the letters IOU written in red crayon. "This is the word of Wade Wilson otherwise know as Deadpool. I want Lola to be returned to me without a scratch on her."

"Yes sir!" Said the SHIELD agents.

The agents set out in search of Deadpool.

Miles away Deadpool and Bob had just got back into the city, when they picked up something on the police scanner.

"We have Whirlwind robbing a bank on 34th street! Requesting back up!" Said a cop on he radio.

"Alright it's showtime! Deadpool says there's going to be some wind with a high precent change of one dead super villain lame-o!" Said Deadpool as he hit the pedal to the metal.

They arrived at the bank just in time to see a green tornado smash out of the front doors! Deadpool and Bob leaped out of the car. The tornado stopped and before them stood Whirlwind carrying two bags of money.

"Ha! So Deadpool and his number one fan have come here to stop me! Don't make me laugh! You can't stop the Whirlwind!" Shouted Whirlwind.

"Guess what helmet head! It's fixing to rain bullets!" Shouted Deadpool as he pulled out an Uzi and started shooting at Whirlwind!

Whirlwind started spinning and forming a tornado! The bullets were sucked back in and hurled right back at Deadpool and Bob! Bob jumped out of the way, while Deadpool was hit several times!

Deadpool fell to the ground with a bunch of bullet holes in his body.

"We'll that was embarrassing." Said Wilson.

"Kill this asshole!" Shouted Wade.

Deadpool got to his feet in time to see Whirlwind take off down the street.

"Quick into the car Bob! We're going to have ourselves a little car chase!" Shouted Deadpool.

The two of them dived into the car and chased after Whirlwind. The villain was tossing cars around as he went down the street.

"Man we need more speed!" Complained Deadpool as he randomly pushed buttons on the car.

There was a weird clicking sound as the cars wheels went underneath the car and turned into little hover jets. The car hovered above the ground and took off at great speed.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Laughed Deadpool.

"Simply incredible!" Said Wilson.

"Awesome!" Shouted Wade.

It took the car a minute to catch up to the Whirlwind.

"What!" Shouted the Whirlwind in shock.

"Bob take the wheel I'm going into the eye of hurricane Asshole here." Said Deadpool as he jumped from the drivers seat and into the tornado.

Bob quickly grabbed the steering wheel and regained control of the car. Deadpool went into the center of the tornado and shot his arms out. He managed to grab the horns on Whirlwind's helmet.

"Let me go!" Shouted Whirlwind as he spun his body at incredible speed trying to get Deadpool off of him.

"Whoa windburn!" Shouted Deadpool as he just barely managed to hang onto Whirlwind's helmet.

"Didn't think this one through." Said Wade.

"Man this is like a freakin carnival ride! Go faster I want to go to Oz!" Laughed Wade.

Whirlwind spun faster as he sucked in various objects. Deadpool heard a weird animal noise. He looked up and saw a freaked out cow fly by.

"Holy cow!" He shouted.

"That doesn't make any sense! We're in the city!" Complained Wilson.

"Who cares that's hilarious!" Laughed Wade.

Whirlwind spun even faster. Deadpool felt himself growing sick. He then vomited into his mask!

"Gross!" Shouted Wad and Wilson.

Whirlwind was still trying to get Deadpool off of himself. He was so busy with that task he didn't see the oncoming brick wall coming up ahead and crashed right into it! Both fighters were thrown to the ground.

Deadpool staggered to his feet dizzy. Whirlwind staggered to his feet shaking his helmeted head. Deadpool's healing factor started kicking in. He pulled out one of his katanas and charged forward.

"Time for this wind to die!" He shouted as he stabbed his sword right through the eye holes on Whirlwind's helmet!

Whirlwind gagged and fell onto his back. His body jerked and went still. Deadpool took a picture of himself and the dead villain and posted it on Twert. He got an instant like from The Watcher. Deadpool then went outside and met up with Bob in the car.

"That's another lame-o dead." Said Deadpool.

"Way to go!" Cheered Bob as he went to the passenger's seat.

"On to our next target, but first the laundry mat I got a mask that needs some cleaning." Said Deadpool as he hopped into the drivers seat.

They drove off to continue their adventure.

To be continued.


	4. Chapter 4 Scarecrow and Laundry

Dealing with the Worst  
Chapter 4 Scarecrow and Laundry  
By: Major144

Disclaimer I do not own Deadpool or Marvel Comics. This is just a story for fun.

Deadpool and Bob went to a nearby laundry mat. They got out of their car. Deadpool removed his mask and quickly a ridiculous bright red ski mask and goggles. They went inside. There were a few people in there who gave the two new costumed customers a glance and went back to doing their own was one man with brown hair that eyed Deadpool and Bob with shifty eyes then went back to doing his laundry.

Deadpool washed the barf out of his mask and then threw it into a washing machine.

"Hey Bob look up our next target on your phone. I download some SHILED database junk onto it." Said Deadpool as he pulled out his phone and started playing Angry Birds.

Bob typed in the name of their next target in his phone. A file popped with a picture of a man dressed as a scarecrow. He wore a burlap bag with a mouth and eyes holes, a green shirt, and brown pants.

Name: Scarecrow

Real Name: Ebenezer Laughton

Career: Criminal and Thief

Weapons: Pitchfork and trained Crows

Bob showed Deadpool the file.

"Man it sounds like this guy doesn't much brains in the name and the weapons department." Said Deadpool.

Bob glanced behind Deadpool and saw the man with the shifty eyes was pulling out a bright green shirt and a burlap mask out of a dryer.

"Um Mr. Wilson I think our target is doing laundry over there." Said Bob as he pointed behind Deadpool.

Deadpool whirled around in time to see the man sprint out the back door. Deadpool was fixing to give chase, when the dryer dinged. He reached in grabbed his mask and put it on.

"Lets go!" He shouted.

Just then the Scarecrow came charing back in with a pitchfork in one hand and a bird cage with some crows in the other.

"You two will suffer the wrath of the Scarecrow!" He shouted as he opened the bird cage and four crows flew out.

"Bob you deal with the chicks I'll deal with straw for brains." Said Deadpool as he pulled out one of his swords and charged forward.

Bob looked at the four charging crows who came flying at his face and began peeking at him! He ran screaming with the crows in pursuit. He grabbed various dirty clothes at them. A dirty extra large shirt took down two of the crows and a sack of socks managed to take out another crow. The last crow went at Bob's face with a great amount of fury. Bob managed to grab it. He wrestled with it, until he saw a nearby open dryer. He hurled the crow I to the dryer, closed the lid, and turned it on. The crow screeched as it was thrown around followed by the snapping of bones.

"Take that!" Bob shouted in triumph.

The Scarecrow charged at Deadpool thrusting his pitchfork. Deadpool dodged the thrust and cut off the pitchfork's head. Scarecrow swung the staff of his pitchfork up knocking Deadpool's sword away. He took a swing at Deadpool's head, but Deadpool ducked the blow and tackled Scarecrow. The two of them flew into a shelf with a bunch of baking soda on it. The baking soda fell on the two fighters covering them in white powder.

Scarecrow punched Deadpool in the face knocking him back and then tackled him into another shelf that had a bunch of soaps on it. The soaps spilled their contents all over the two fighters. Scarecrow tried to put Deadpool in a choke hold, but his body was to slippery. Deadpool tried to throw a kick at Scarecrow, but slipped on the floor and landed on his back. Scarecrow tried to run forward and jump on top of Deadpool, but he slipped and landed on his face.

"Man this is a weird fight. It's like we're mud wrestling." Said Wilson.

"Yeah except instead of a gorgeous women in a swimsuit, were fighting some creepy guy dressed as a scarecrow. Man this sucks!" Said Wade.

The two fighters staggered to their feet. Deadpool slid forward and tackled Scarecrow. The two of them crashed into a washer machine. A washer machine door was open, giving Deadpool an idea.

"Tie to take you to the cleaners!" He shouted as he grabbed the back of Scarecrow's head and shoved between the machine and the door.

He then began viscously slamming the door repeatedly onto the Scarecrow's head! After a few minutes there was a loud cracking sound. Deadpool stopped slamming the door. The body of the Scarecrow fell to the ground blood leaking out of the mask. Deadpool took a picture of the dead body and posted it on Twert. The Watch immediately liked the photo.

"That's another one dead." Said Dedapool.

He and Bob then cleaned themselves up with a hose outside. They jumped into their car and continued their adventure.

To be continued.


	5. Chapter 5 Stilt Man

Dealing with the Worst  
Chapter 5 Stilt Man  
By: Major144

Disclaimer I do not own Deadpool or Marvel Comics. This is just a story for fun.

Deadpool and Bob were driving around town looking for their next target. Bob typed in their next targets name. He typed in Stilt Man. A picture of a man wearing a metal suit with weird looking metal legs popped up.

Name: Stilt Man

Real Name: Wilbur Day

Weapons: Suit of armor with augmented strength, with telescoping legs could that extend up to 290 feet.

Dedapool looked at the file.

"Talk about lame. Well at least I know a guy who can get stuff off of high shelves and get a kite stuck in a tree." He said sarcastically.

"I use his legs to look into peoples houses and watch girls change their clothes." Said Wade.

"Oh good one." Said Wilson. "Hey wait a minute didn't the Punisher or someone kill this guy already? How is he even alive?"

"Maybe the maybe the mysterious evil force brought him back to life." Said Wade.

"I guess that makes sense." Said Wilson.

Deadpool and Bob were stopped at a red light, when they heard a loud metallic thudding sound. They looked to their right and saw two giant metal poles moving across the street. Deadpool craned his knock back and saw a man wearing armor at the top of the poles.

"We'll it looks like we found Stilt Man and boy is he high!" Said Deadpool. "Yo how's the weather up there?" Shouted Deadpool.

He got no response.

"I don't think he can hear us from all the way up there." Said Bob.

"I can hear you just fine." Shouted Stilt Man.

His voice sounded like it was being shouted from a megaphone.

"I know what you did to my comrades. You will not stop our plans to ruin the Marvel Universe. I will crush you here and now!" Said Stilt Man as he raised one of his legs and brought it down towards Deadpool and Bob!

Dedapool quickly hit the gas pedal of their car and took off just barely avoiding the leg. He pulled out a Uzi and started firing up at Stilt Man, but he was to high up to reach.

"Dang his to high." Said Deadpool.

"So why not we bring him down to our level." Suggested Bob.

"Bobo my boy I like your idea. Now how to do that." Said Deadpool as he looked around for something to use to bring Stilt Man down.

His eyes landed on a gardening store and a sports clothes store.

"My Canadian senses are tingling. Bob get in the drivers seat." I'll be right back." Said Deadpool as he stopped the car and hopped out.

Bob looked in the rearview mirror and saw Stilt Man making his way towards him. Deadpool came out of the sports store dressed like a lumberjack. He then ran into the gardening store and came back with a large chainsaw.

"Time to cut down some timber!" He shouted as he ran towards Stilt Man's leg powering up the chainsaw.

Stilt Man looked down and saw what was happening. He tried to kick Deadpool, but he was to close. Deadpool cut through a huge part of the leg making it short. Stilt Man started to loose his balance. He flapped his arms like crazy trying to regain his balance, but a gust of wind pushed him forward.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He screamed as he started falling forward.

"TIMBER!" Shouted Deadpool as he turned to Bob. "Put the car into high gear! We need to get in front of this guy!"

Bob hit the hover jets as Deadpool hopped into the passenger seat. The car took off and got a head of the falling Stilt Man. The car stop and Deadpool hopped out branching his chainsaw. Stilt Man looked down at Deadpool and his chainsaw.

"OH NO! NONONONONONO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He screamed as he fell and got decapitated by the chainsaw.

"DECAPITATION!" Sang Deadpool as Stilt Man's head flew a few feet and hit the ground rolling.

He tossed his cellphone to Bob and told him to take a picture of himself as he stood over the decapitated body holding the head.

After the picture Deadpool posted the picture on Twert and got a instant like from The Watcher and a like from the Punisher.

"Another one bites the dust. Now lets go find our next target." Said Deadpool as he dropped the head on the ground and hopped into the car.

Bob jumped into the passenger seat and they drove off to continue their adventure.

To be continue.


	6. Chapter 6 Hate-Monger

Dealing with the Worst  
Chapter 6 Hate-Monger  
By: Major144

Disclaimer I do not own Deadpool or Marvel Comics. This is just a story for fun.

Deadpool and Bob were driving around in their car. Bob was typing in their next target into the computer. He yoked it the name Hate-Monger. A picture of a man wearing brown boots, chainmail armor on his legs and arms, a purple out fit with an H on the chest, a a purple hood that looked like a cross between an executors mask and a Klan mask. Underneath that was info about the person.

Name: Hate-Monger

Real Name: Adolf Hitler (clone)

Weapons: Hate-Ray

Base: South America, San Gusto

Deadpool looked at the info and picture.

"Sweat! We get to kill Hitler!" He said excitedly.

"His a clone." Said Wilson.

"Oh quite your ruining the moment!" Said Wade.

"But wasn't this guy killed off or something?" Said Wilson.

"Who cares! We're going to kill "Inglorious Basterds" style!" Exclaimed Wade.

"Looks like we need to head to the airport." Said Bob.

"Man we don't need to by plane tickets I can just steal us a plane." Said Deadpool.

"No offense mister Wilson, but nether one of us is that good a pilot. We probably end up crashing a plane before we get to our destination." Said Bob.

"Fine will get plane tickets." Said Deadpool.

They parked their car in a airport parking garage. They let the car. a few minutes latter two SHIELD agents showed up at the car.l

"Agent Coulson we found the target. We will retrieve it and leave the device here." Said one of he SHIELD agents.

"We'll done team." Said Coulson.

The agents took the car and placed a small device in the parking spot, the device produced a hologram of the car. The agents drove off with the car.

Deadpool and Bob went into the the airport and bought tickets. Deadpool had to surrender all his weapons to airport security. They reached the terminal and boarded the plane. After several hours they reached South America. They got out and Deadpool was reunited with his weapons.

"Oh my babies! Daddy missed you!" Said Deadpool as he cradled his weapons.

Bob rented them a jeep and they traveled to San Gusto. They went into a bar and asked about Hate-Monger. They got some information saying that Hate-Monger had established a criminal haven called Erewhon. They got directions to Erewhon and made their way through the jungle to the location of the haven. What they found was a huge stone fort. Deadpool and Bob looked through some binoculars at the fort. They saw a bunch of men armed with assault rifles patrolling the walls and a bunch of posters of Deadpool and Bob.

"Looks like Hate-Monger knows were after him." Said Bob.

"Your right we need to sneak in there to get to this hooded nut. Wait a minute I have a perfect plan." Said Deadpool.

He and Bob went back into the jungle. Deadpool cut down several trees. With Bob's help Deadpool construct two giant wooden horses on wheels.

"Were going to go all Trojan on these guys!" Cheered Wade.

"I suppose this is one of our better ideas. Though it's just two guys against a small army." Said Wilson.

"Shut up! Your ruining the moment! We've faced worse odds." Said Wade.

Deadpool put a bunch of explosives in one of the horses. He then got some rope and he and Bob dragged the two wooden horses to the fort. Deadpool knocked on the door and he and Bob quickly jumped into the the wooden horse that didn't have the explosives in it. A few guards came out of the fort and looked at the wooden horses. They grabbed them and dragged them into the fortress. Hate-Monger saw them and walked over to them.

"It looks like we have some fools who believe they can trick us with the old Trojan horse tactic. Take this horse here to the center of the courtyard. We will set it on fire and burn the little Trojans to death." Said Hate-Monger.

"Yes sir." Said one of the guards.

The wooden horse was brought to the center of the courtyard. A few guards laughed nastily as they threw torches at it and set it on fire. There was an odd noise and then the horse exploded into a great fiery ball! It killed several guards and sent several flying! Hate-Monger just starred in shock. Suddenly the other wooden horse burst open and out sprung Deadpool and Bob welding assault rifles.

"Time to PARTY!" Shouted Deadpool as he mowed down several guards.

Bob clumsily fired his own gun and managed to take out some guards. Hate-Monger his Hate-Ray and fired a beam of energy at some guards, they immediately became fierce and crazy with hate. They charged at Deadpool screaming like wild animals. Deadpool pulled out his swords and started slicing up the guards! He sliced the arms off one guard, the legs off of another, and the head of another guard.

"Feels good to slice and dice some bodies." Said Deadpool as he put his swords up.

He saw Hate-Monger and tackled him. The two fighters went crashing to the ground. Deadpool reached forward and grabbed Hate-Monger's mask revealing his Hitler identify.

"Hey Bob get over here I need you to help me preform an "Inglorious Basterds" kill on this guy." He said.

Bob ran over to Deadpool, who gave him his cellphone. Bob placed the cellphone a few yards away and turned the video camera on. He rejoined Deadpool and pointed a assault rifle at Hate-Monger.

"Time to die Hitler!" Shouted Deadpool.

"Nein! Nein! Nein!" Screamed Hate-Monger.

"Oh yes! Yes! Yes!" Cheered Deadpool as he and Bob pulled the triggers of their weapons.

Hate-Monger was pelted with a ton of bullets his body jerking around as bullets and blood flew out of it. In a few minutes Deadpool and Bob's guns were empty. Hate-Monger laid on the ground splattered in blood and dead. Deadpool went to grab his cellphone and turned off the camera. He posted the video on YouTube and got an instant like from The Watcher.

"Come on Bob lets head back to New York. We're halfway through our list." Said Deadpool.

He and Bob jumped into their jeep and headed back to the airport.

Elsewhere five figures were meeting around a table watching Deadpool on a TV screen.

"His killed half our numbers." Said one figure with the voice of an old man.

"We have no choice. We must team up to defeat Deadpool and his sidekick Bob. Only then will our master's plan go undaunted." Said the largest figure.

"Agreed. We will send him a message." Said a figure with the voice of a women.

A evil plan was forming for Deadpool and Bob.

To be continued.


	7. Chapter 7 Invite

Dealing with the Worst  
Chapter 7 Invite  
By: Major144

Disclaimer I do not own Deadpool or Marvel Comics. This is just a story for fun.

Deadpool and Bob arrived back in New York. After Deadpool got his weapons back they traveled to the parking garage. They found their car where they parked it.

"Time to get ridding!" As he jumped as he jumped over the car towards the drivers seat.

Deadpool went right through as if it were a ghost and landed on his back! The car vanished in a flash of light leaving nothing, but a small strange metal looking device.  
Deadpool shoot to his feet looking at the device.

"We've been car jacked!" He shouted.

"It's ironic since we stole the car." Said Wilson.

"Shut up!" Complained Wade.

A hologram of a man in a business suite appeared above the device. It was Agent Coulson. Deadpool and Bob starred at the hologram.

"Hello Deadpool. I have taken back what you stole. You have violated several laws by stealing SHIELD equipment. Unfortunately since arresting you would be more of a pain for SHILED then us we've come up with a more interesting punishment and more satisfying punishment." Said Coulson with a smile as the hologram disappeared.

There was a blight flash of light admitted from the device that blinded Deadpool and Bob!

"Oh my god! We're blind!" Screamed Wade.

"Calm down. We're regaining are sight." Said Wilson.

"Oh no! What if the flash made us sterile or damaged our junk!" Screamed Wade.

"Oh would you calm down your being ridiculous." Complained Wilson.

There was a light clicking noise as something hit the ground. Deadpool and Bob looked down at the ground and saw their wallets, weapons, and cellphones were lying on the ground. They also noticed. That they weren't wearing any clothes! For some reason their clothes had simply vanished. They still had their mask on for some reason.

"We'll that explains the draft I felt." Said Deadpool as he picked up his stuff.

"Oh man! This is just like highs school gym all over agin!" Cried Bob as he picked up his stuff and covered up his manhood.

"Told you this would come back to bite us." Said Wilson.

"Shut up smart ass!" Complained Wade.

Deadpool and Bob carefully snuck to a nearby alley and managed to find some old towels to cover themselves. They then found a clothes donation deposit and grabbed some jeans and a couple of ugly shirts. The duo called a cab that drove them back to Deadpool's apartment. The two of them went inside the apartment and changed into some new uniforms.

"We'll that was embracing." Muttered Bob.

"Don't sweat it Bob. Lets look up our next targets and take our frustrations out on them." Said Deadpool.

Bob went over to a nearby computer and started typing. Deadpool noticed a small envelope lying on the floor. He picked it up and opened it. It was a letter addressed to him.

"Greetings Deadpool. We are the last five villains on your list. We are gathered in Miami, Florida at The Slug's mansion. Come here with your side kick and will finish things once and for all." Read Deadpool.

"This is obviously a trap." Said Wilson.

"Who cares will just go there and kill them all." Said Wade.

Bob pulled the flies on the last five targets.

The first file picture was of a man dressed as a matador. Bellow was a bunch of information.

Name: Matador

Real Name: Manuel Eloganto

Weapons: A sword and a cape

The next file showed an old man with an egg shaped head wearing a lab coat. Bellow was a bunch of information.

Name: Egghead

Real Name: Elihas Starr

Equipment:

Insect control devices  
Laser satellites  
Mind control devices  
Robots  
Teleportation devices

Weapons:  
Egg-shaped devices of his own design which have various properties when thrown. Some of these include:

an egg which explodes, wrapping its victim in a nigh-unbreakable material  
an egg which electrocutes its victim  
an egg which bursts into a bolo, ensnaring its victim  
Egghead has also employed other weapons in the past, such as wrist-blasters.

The next file showed a man wearing a ridiculous frog suit. Complete with frog head and webbed feet. Below was the information.

Name: Leap-Frog

Real Name: Vincent Patilio

Equipment: A suit equipped with electrically powered leaping coils that allow him to reach a height of 6 stories per jump.

The next file showed a enormous fat man wearing a suit, and sunglasses. With white hair. Below was a bunch of information.

Name: Slug

Real Name: Ulysses Lugman

Powers: The Slug's body is so terribly obese that it was difficult to penetrate enough fat to strike his vital organs. Also, Slug had mastered the rather grotesque talent of suffocating opponents in the folds of his flesh.

Abilities: The Slug possesses a gifted level of intelligence.

Strength level: The Slug possesses the physical strength of a man of his age and build who engages in no regular exercise.

Weaknesses: The Slug is practically helpless against any opponent, and depends upon his hired thugs to provide him with security.

Equipment: The Slug wears sunglasses at most times to protect his light-sensitive eyes.

Transportation: The Slug rides specially designed heavy-duty wheelchairs fitted with tank treads or heavy tires. His chairs appear to operate by remote control, and often feature built-in flotation devices or rocket boosters for air escape. For longer distances, the Slug rides in a custom semi trailer.

Weapons: The Slug employs various thugs and hired guns to do his bidding.

The next file showed a picture of a women wearing green dress and gloves, with a light purple cape, and a dark purple cloth mask. Below the picture was the information.

Name: Asbestos Lady

Real Name: Victoria Murdock.

Weapons: A gifted scientist who designed a flameproof costume from asbestos and wielded a flame-thrower and guns that fired asbestos-lined bullets.

"So our last targets consist of a matador, a egg doctor, a frog man, a fat drug lord, and a women with flame proof clothes. Talk about a bunch of losers." Said Deadpool.

"We'll there the last ones on the list." Said Bob.

"Alright lets go to the airport. We have some losers to waist." Said Deadpool.

They left the apartment and traveled to the airport.

To be continued.


	8. Chapter 8 Car Chase

Dealing with the Worst  
Chapter 8 Car Chase  
By: Major144

Disclaimer I do not own Deadpool or Marvel Comics. This is just a story for fun.

Deadpool and Bob took a plane trip to Florida. They rented a car and traveled to Miami. Deadpool looked at the address in the invite and typed it into the rental cars GPS and headed for the Slug's mansion.

"So what's the plan?" Asked Bob.

"It's simple we go in guns blazing with awesomeness, while looking like a badass and kill everyone in the mansion." Replied Deadpool.

"A simple plan." Said Wilson.

"I like it!" Said Wade.

A white van in front of them stopped forcing Deadpool to hit the brakes on the rental car.

"Hey watch it numb nuts!" Shouted Deadpool at the white van.

The van's back doors flew open and four man with machine guns jumped out and began firing at Deadpool and Bob!

"Oh god were going to die!" Screamed Bob as he ducked down.

"Don't kiss your ass goodbye just yet! I'm getting us out of this turkey shoot!" Shouted Deadpool as hit the gas pedal.

The car speed forward, crashed into one of the gunmen, sending him flying over the car and onto the pavement.

"Yeah eat my dust!" Shouted Deadpool as the car sped off.

The remaining gunmen jumped into their van and took off after them.

"Oh hell yeah a car chase! This rules!" Cheered Wade.

"Better buckle up it's going to be one hell of a ride!" Said Wilson.

Deadpool swerved the car in and out of traffic as the van the men in the van chased them firing their guns. Another van showed up. A sliding door opened up and a man welding a bazooka poked out from it.

"HOLLY CRAB! HAIL HYDRA!" Screamed Bob in fear.

Deadpool looked around for a means of escaping the missile. His eyes landed on a semi-truck with an empty car hauler.

"Time to fly air Deadpool!" He shouted as he hit hit the gas and raced towards the car hauler, which was pointed like a ramp.

"Your not really thinking of jumping are you?" Asked Wilson.

"Do it! It'll be freaking awesome!" Cheered Wade.

The rental raced up the car hauler and became airborne, just as the gunman fired his bazooka! The missile flew forward and just barely missed the rental car by a inch! It flew into the air and exploded harmlessly in the sky.

The rental car landed back on the ground with a thud. Deadpool spun the car around and faced the two vans.

"Time to play chicken." He said as he pulled out a machine gun and hit the gas pedal.

The car raced forward. The two vans raced forward. The man with the bazooka prepared to fire another shot. Deadpool took careful aim and shot the bazooka man in the head causing him to be thrown back into the van and accidentally pulling the bazooka trigger! The van exploded into a enormous fireball!

Deadpool charged the other van firing his machine gun. A shot hit the driver and the van spun out of control, hit concrete, and flipped over. It slide a couple of feet before stopping. Deadpool blew the smoke from his gun. Bob calmed down.

"Were alive!" Here cheered.

"Lets get going we have a party to crash." Said Deadpool.

The car drove off with it's two crazy occupants.

To be continued.


	9. Chapter 9 Party Crashing

Dealing with the Worst  
Chapter 9 Party Crashing  
By: Major144

Disclaimer I do not own Deadpool or Marvel Comics. This is just a story for fun.

Deadpool and Bob found the mansion at sunset. They parked a couple of miles away from the mansion and carefully leaped over the fence and made there way onto the grounds. They saw a bunch of light coming from one part of the house. They went to go investigate it. They peaked inside a window and saw all five of their targets along with a bunch of men in suits attending some kind of party.

Matador, Egghead, Leap-Frog, Slug and Asbestos Lady were all together on one side of the room talking. The slug was eating a bunch of hamburgers from a nearby plate. A nervous man approached the slug.

"Um...sir the plan to kill Deadpool...and Bob failed." Said the man.

The Slug stopped eating and glared at the man.

"You bring me bad news, while I'm eating and entertains my allies! Unacceptable! I put you in charge of taking care of Deadpool and Bob and you failed me! I will not tolerate failures!" Boomed Slug as he waved two of his men over.

The men grabbed grabbed the unfortunate messenger and dragged him towards The Slug. The messenger kicked and screamed.

"I'll do better! Please give me another chance to prove myself!" Begged the man.

"No! You must be made an example of." Said Slug as he lifted some of his fat roles up.

The man's head was placed between the fat roles. The Slug dropped his fat roles and began suffocating the man! The man kicked helplessly until he stopped moving. The Slug moved his fat roles and the man dropped lifelessly to the floor. A couple of henchmen picked up the body and dragged it away.

Deadpool and Bob just starred at the horrific murder with sickened looks.

"That was a gross and horrible way to kill someone." Said Wilson.

"Yeah! Ug! I just pictured The Slug naked!" Said Wade.

"Great now you have me thinking the same thing!" Complained Wilson.

"Just got to go to my happy place. I'm now picturing beautiful women with big tits and chimichangas." Said Wade.

"That's better." Said Wilson.

Deadpool handed Bob a assault rifle.

"Alright Bob it's time to crash a party." Said Deadpool.

"I'm ready." Said Bob as he tried to look brave.

"That's my number one fan. Lets go kill these losers!" Said Deadpool.

Deadpool blew the window up with his machine guns and jumped through it followed by Bob. All the villains and henchmen starred at the two intruders.

"Evening folks! It's time to crash your party and put an end to you lame villains! In the name of awesomeness and chimichangas I will kill you!" Declared Deadpool.

"And I will help." Said Bob.

The Slug grinned evilly.

"It looks like are guest of honor has shown up. Let us destroy them." Said The Slug.

The villains, except for The Slug charged forward at Deadpool and Bob along with the henchmen. The Matador pulled out his sword.

"Taste my blade!" He shouted as he swung his sword at Deadpool.

Deadpool pulled out his katanas and blocked Matador's swing. The Matador twirled his blade around and sliced Deadpool across the chest. Deadpool backed away and glared at the Matador, who was smiling smugly.

"Alright fancy pants you mess with the Deadpool you get the mouth." Said Deadpool as he took a fighting stance. "Hey you must have had quite a temper if you got kicked out of bull fighting!"

A vain on the Matador's forehead twitched and he started to lose his composure.

"How dare you bring that up! I will slice you to ribbons!" He roared as he charged forward swinging his blade.

Deadpool dodged the swing. He then kicked the Matador's sword into the air and delivered a punch to the Matador's face. Matador screamed in pain and clutched his face. His sword twirled through the air and came down blade first right on his right foot!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Screamed Matador as he looked down at his pierced foot.

"Oh shut up and take five!" Said Deadpool as he punched Matador in the back of the head and knocked him out.

Asbestos Lady fired her flame throwers as Egghead fired his wrist blasters, and a bunch of henchmen opened fire with machine guns. Deadpool dived behind a dinning table for cover. He pulled out his machine guns and returned fire.

Elsewhere Bob was running from Leap-Frog. The crazy frog leaped from wall to wall like a bullet trying to hit Bob. Every time Leap-Frog tried to hit Bob a henchmen ended up getting in the way and Leap-Frog would end up knocking them out. Finally Bob was coming up to a dead end.

"I have you now." Said Leap-Frog as he leaped at Bob.

Bob twisted around and tried to shoot Leap-Frog with his assault rifle, but tripped and fell. Leap-Frog soared over him and smashed into the wall with a thud and fell to the floor unconscious.

Bob accidental pulled the trigger of his gun and a bullet flew out. It ricocheted off a celling tile, bounced off a suit of armor, hit and loosened a large chandelier that happened to be hanging over the villains and henchmen, who had Deadpool pinned down.

"Give it up Deadpool your finished!" Laughed Egghead.

There was a loud cracking sound above the villains head. They all looked up to in time to see the chandelier above their heads fall right on top of them with a loud thud! They all laid on the ground moaning. Deadpool got out from behind the table and walked to The Slug, who was trying to escape in his special wheelchair. He was making incredibly short progress. The drug lord turned his head nervously towards Deadpool beads of sweat twinkling down his forehead.

"Please don't kill me!" He begged.

"No can do fat boy, but it's the end of the buffet for you. Time to pay for being such a lame ass villain." Said Deadpool as he punched The Slug in the face and knocked him out.

Bob walked up to Deadpool.

"Gather up the rest of the targets were going to take them out with a bang." Said Deadpool.

They gathered up the unconscious villains. Deadpool figured out how to move The Slugs wheelchair and move it outside. They then tied the villains to The Slug with a lot of explosives. They then turned on the wheelchair's rocket boosters on. The villains came to looking confused.

"What are you doing?" Demanded Asbestos Lady.

"I'm fixing to shoot you guys up into the sky and blow you up with this bazooka here." Said Deadpool as he pulled out a bazooka.

"Wait Deadpool we can work something out!" Cried The Slug.

"We just wanted to be remembered!" Cried Leap-Frog.

"Sorry no dice. My idea is better anyway. Bob light them up." Said Deadpool.

Bob pushed the booster rocket controls and the wheelchair shot into the sky with its screaming cargo. As it traveled several stories Deadpool fired his rocket launcher up at the villains.

"BIG ASS EXPLOSION TIME!" He shouted joyfully.

The wheelchair and villains exploded in a giant fiery explosion! Deadpool got a call on his cellphone from The Watcher.

"We'll done Deadpool the Marvel Universe is safe from blandness. Your awesome!" Said The Watcher.

Deadpool hung up the phone.

"Come on Bob lets head home for some chimichangas." Said Deadpool.

The two of them walked off towards the airport to go home after a long adventure.

The End.


End file.
